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It’s clear that I’m establishing a disturbing pattern: I get interested in a woman; I make a move; she gives a non-committal response; I don’t take it as the brush-off it is and end up making unwelcome contact (i.e. It’s also clear in retrospect that I should’ve just backed off in these cases, but I seem to panic in the moment and not act on that knowledge.

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Her response was a clear “no”, and it was obvious that my e-mail had been unwelcome.

I was glad to get the straight-up answer, but I had to push her boundaries to get it. I know intellectually that getting a non-answer in these situations means “no”.

I feel so guilty about these instances, and I’ve reaped the personal consequences—burnt bridges and cold shoulders—but I’m still not getting it right. Lest we forget, I once left a multi-page letter on someone’s pillow in the bedroom where they sleep. Rejection doesn’t mean you have to hide your face in shame forever or get all weird and Firthy about it, though!